Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Outrage from Brianna Wu as videogames company employing Brianna Wu wins the Brianna Wu Award for Diversity in Videogames

Trigger Warning: The following is a work of satire and should be believed by no one.

A boutique videogames company with one employee has won the coveted Brianna Wu Award for Diversity in Videogames. Collecting the prize from the award ceremony host - Brianna Wu, the winner - Brianna Wu told a shocked an audience composed of Brianna Wu, Brianna Wu, and Brianna Wu that this was a dark day for diversity in videogames:

Whether taking offence at a randomly drawn selection of Scrabble tiles or shouting down a bot account on twitter, Brianna Wu is everywhere at once, loudly pushing her way to the front and drowning out the voices of more softly-spoken minorities. Is this the diversity that people like Brianna Wu fought so hard for?”

Brianna Wu's clarion call for diversity has resonated strongly beyond the traditional gaming media: Speaking from the attic of The Guardian newspaper, while clad in a yellowing wedding dress, with one shoe balanced precariously on her head, Chief of Technology, Jessica Havisham, said:

Brianna Wu called called me this morning and told me that I should be outraged so naturally I am outraged. Now, what are we talking about?”

Havisham added: “Kill all men. Fuck Journalism.”

Organisers of the award have been quick to respond to Brianna Wu's outburst. Brianna Wu - Head of Events at the Brianna Wu Foundation for Diversity said: “We contacted Brianna Wu prior to the ceremony to let her know that she had won and she seemed fine with it. We don't understand her objections.”

One judge who asked to remain anonymous said:

I sat on a panel of distinguished figures from the videogames industry – luminaries such as Brianna Wu, Brianna Wu, Brianna Wu, Brianna Wu, and Brianna Wu. We deliberated long into the night. At one point there was a three-way deadlock between Brianna Wu, Brianna Wu and Brianna Wu, however I think that, in hindsight, we made the right decision and picked a deserving winner.”

The news comes as several thousand users of the social media platform Twitter had their accounts suspended on the grounds of harassment after they wrote the name 'Brianna Wu' in messages that were posted on the site.

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